As part of my Service to you, you are free to gift me any amount that feels good, right, and fair to you. In other words, choose a rate that would make you feel alive and grateful, that reflects both your financial means and your desire for spiritual development. Deciding what you pay may be more important than the amount you pay. Find a rate that gives you a sense of grace for both you and me.

Buddhist nun Mushim Ikeda, explains dana, the Buddhist method of exchange:

According to tradition in Asian countries, the teachings of the Buddha, including instruction in meditation, are offered freely without a price tag attached to them. This is because these teachings are considered to be priceless. Dharma teachings and practices have the potential to increase happiness and contentment and to decrease anger, fear, stress, and dissatisfaction. At their deepest level, they are considered to open profound paths of insight into the nature of reality, the self, and the mysteries of life and death. Those receiving the gift of a teacher’s personal guidance, or upon being moved by a teacher’s written or spoken teachings, traditionally wish to help sustain the teacher through the practice of generous giving, or Dana. A more contemporary way of understanding this relationship would be to say that Mushim offers Buddhist teachings on a gift economics basis.

In Buddhist practice, giving from the heart not only supports teachers, it supports your own spiritual practice in accepting gratitude and enoughness. On the other side, when Buddhist nuns and monks teach in dana, they are practicing offering from this place of grace, from the heart, from an unquenchable desire to give. In their free offer, they practice trusting grace will come back. I would like my spiritual direction practice to be the same.

In offering to let you choose what you’d like to offer, I hope we feel a reciprocal exchange of gratitude, a recognition that both live in the gift from each other. My Venmo is @douglas-tsoi.

OK, right. But give me concrete guidance

• How much would I offer for other, roughly equivalent things in my life, like a coach or mental health therapist? How do I value spiritual health to professional development or mental health?

• Does that amount bring up any thoughts or feelings? Does it feel alive? Stay mindful of how your feelings change over time. You can always change what you offer.

• The ‘official’ hourly rate for Unitarian Universalist ministers providing "other services" (e.g. spiritual care other than weddings or preaching) is $135/hr. Consider where you are in relation to the economic structures we live in. Do you earn more or less than the average American? What are your other financial commitments and burdens compared to the average American?

Dogen-zenji said, “To give is nonattachment.” That is, just not to attach to anything is to give. It does not matter what is given. To give a penny or a piece of leaf is dana prajna paramita; to give one line, or even one word of teaching is dana prajna paramita. If given in the spirit of nonattachment, the material offering and the teaching offering have the same value. With the right spirit, all that we do, all that we create is dana prajna paramita. - Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind